my friend matt.

it's amazing how time flies sometimes. i am really blown away when i get the opportunity to see someone whom i haven't seen in a good long time, and i can just see all the changes. 2 nights ago, i had a spectacular night. i'm here in chicago *CONTENT EDITED* and i met up with my great friend matt schaefer who has been one of my best friends since we met and worked together at starbucks in school.

matt is a great friend, and we've been through a lot together. we have so many ridiculous and crazy storied from back in the IU days and when he lived in NYC too. i miss those days. we were both so new to the real world, and so naive about everything really. time has passed and its so wonderful to meet up and reflect on our lives now and what we have done and what we have been through. it was such a perfect night. we ate, we drank, we caught and we just enjoyed each other's company.

matt told me that several of his songs have just been picked up for commercials for hallmark commercials, and i'm just so unbelievably thrilled for him. tonight i drove my bigass ford expedition down to his place and we went out for a glass of wine and a bite and i met the guy who he is dating (very cute, i approve), and just chatted it up. it was simply perfect.

as we grow and as we move on in life, we change. we have jobs and we lose jobs. we have wonderful relationships and we grieve for those that didn't work out. but all through it, even when there is a long time between visits, we still have our most important relationships that are so powerful and so strong and they remind you that you'll always get through the hardships. you'll always have that friend to call and see when you pass through time.

it was great to see you matt. i'm so happy for you and everything you have going for you and i'll always be your number one fan.


(A-D and tween, circa 2001, pinkeye and all...)

a quick quote before i take off for chicago...

when asked about the prospect of having sex with a celebrity just for the sake of the sex:

"I've hooked up with ugly non-famous people, whats to stop me from hooking up with ugly famous people?"....Wendy

***UPDATE***

so, i just went to a neurologist during lunch, and it turns out that i do not have cluster headaches, but in fact i have a cervicogenic headache, which is based from a nerve in my cervical spine. ok first off, who knew that men had anything in their body with the word cervix in it! eeewww! well, it is a bone and a spine and blah blah blah.

she also said that my reflexes we brisk, and yes, she did the classic 'hit-you-on-your-knee-to-make-it-bounce' technique. she said that it was 'not of great concern for now'. what the f does that mean? for now? i may have a pinched nerve in my neck that is causing all this, she's not 100% sure, so i'm going back to see the neurologist for a more in-depth visit on tuesday. maybe some CAT scans or an MRI, i'm thrilled.


so, the doc gave me a script for some pain meds which are narcotic (yay!), but non-addictive (boo!), so hopefully that will ease this up a bit. i have to start traveling for work starting on thursday, so i am hoping that i'll be up for it. *CONTENT EDITED*

on another note, i realized that i hate being single. yeah, it has its perks every once in a while, but you just cant match having someone there to hold your hand when you are in the hospital or at the doctors, or just having your boyfriend there to tell you everything is going to be ok.

i know i'll get over this heartache and this headache soon, but the pain is killing me!

first heartache, now a headache.

So, for the past 7 days, I have had an awful headache. I thought that it was perhaps stress related, or work related or even TA related, I don’t know, but regardless, it just didn’t go away. Tylenol, pot, nothing made it go away! So this morning, after waking up at 6am with an ATROCIOUS headache, I decided I needed to go to the hospital.

I went into work on time and told my boss that I was feeling like shite and that I needed to go to the hospital immediamente! So I went to st. vincent’s in the village and went straight to the ER. The last time I was there was there was to pick up TA when he had surgery there back in September…its amazing how time flies….

Ok, first of all, I hate hospitals. They creep me out big time. The crying babies, the screaming Puerto Ricans, the elderly folks, its just no fun. There were a lot of people there, and yeah, I just don’t like hospitals. I’m sitting in the waiting room, thinking that I have a brain tumor, mildly freaking out, but taking it in stride, and looking cute in my suit of course. So about 45 min later, I spoke with like 3 nurses and 2 doctors, and they told me that I was symptomatic of having cluster headaches, which according to the national headache foundation (and who knew such a group exists), are some of the most painful headaches out there, and they are chronic and long term. Awesome.

So the doc poked me with an IV, and shot me up some with meds. I took a bit of a nappy nap while I was there because I had to wait for the IV to stop dripping before they could release me. So I hope that this won’t happen again, because a week of a headache is nooooo fun, and I can only imagine what it’s like to be a chronic sufferer of this! Ugh!

I’m like 85% better, and I need to go to an ENT as well as a neurologist, just to rule out anything else...here’s hoping that I get better soon...ugh...

1 month down...

so its been 1 month since TA and I broke up. yeah, its been a rough month to say the least. i feel like so much is changing with me. i'm growing up, i'm growing hair in new places...oh wait, that happened 3 weeks prior to my bar mitzvah. anyway, yeah, i have a new job, i've made some new friends, but i don't know if i have a new outlook on life. i mean, i don't know if I’m supposed to really, but now would be a good time to have one, right?

I still think about TA, its going to be inevitable that I do. 1 month down and I still wear the necklace that he gave me, and I still give it a kiss everytime. I mean, I sorta treat it like a mezuzah sans any deep religious meaning; its more symbolic at this point. i guess in a way it will always keep him close to my heart (cute the sappy music please!)...

I still take everything day by day, and I’m def keeping myself distracted with things. My friend Marc's 30th last weekend (happy birthday old man!), tommy coming back to town (best weekend ever!) a tequila-infused OUT party at mr. Black last night (which by the way, I had vowed not to go to as I am a pussy and I am afraid that I will run into you know who), a wedding in PA this weekend that I’m going to with Queen Jiller, and lots of travel for work. busy busy busy. its what you have to do, ya know?

as a side note, I haven’t had a ciggy in over 7 and a ½ months. I mean,not even a drag of one. Not when TA had one, not when any of the Lil’s have one, none! I’m pretty impressed with myself, I won’t lie.

finally, something utterly insane happened to my neighbor andrew and i last night: we took a train home for the aforementioned OUT party from the b'way/laf stop, and there was not a single person in our car, for 2 stops! when the hell does that happen? really! so, to celebrate the occasion, we opted to act crazy, run around with our pants down (did i mention that we had imbibed a crap load of tequila?), and took some pics...enjoy!





(and if that's not one sweet jew ass, i don't know what is...)