banksy

for a while now, i have been incredibly intrigued by the british graffiti artist banksy. he is know for his outspoken, politically-charged and often comical work. he has painted on West Bank Separation Wall, he left a dummy of a Guantanamo Bay prisoner on the fence of a ride at disneyland, he's covertly added his own pieces of art with satirical captions to the walls of the lourve and in one of my favorite moves, he replaced copies of Paris Hilton's CD with his own cover art of a topless Paris and renamed the songs "Why am I Famous", "What Have I Done", and "What Am I For". Needless to say, he's a rebel and revolutionary. oh, and also, no one knows what he looks like.

For the past few weeks his work has been on display at a gallery here in chelsea, and, as it is closing tomorrow, i swung by. all i have to say is amazing. i've only seen the work online, and to finally be able to see the work in person was awesome. and the way that it was presented was perfect. police tape, bubble wrap, awkward lighting. it was gorgeous. here are some pics i took:

the 2nd floor of the 3 floor display

banksy's modern-day take on a warhol classic

The Banksy of England £10 note featuring Princess Di

while taking the kate pic, i covered the flash on my blackberry...came out kinda cool, no?

hilarious

Pregnant Jamie Lynn Speaks Out

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thoughts and thoughts

well, as i said in my previous post, i am now 28. i am happy that i am getting older, because i am learning more and more about myself everyday. after having a "small" (ie: 21 person) dinner on friday night, some of the boys went out a-drinkin. after several cocktails, i found myself at barrage waxing poetic about how much i have changed in my years. its really true though. i am more confident in myself, i am more secure in my abilities. now look, that doesn't mean that i don't doubt myself here and there, because i'd be lying if i said that i didn't. 

friday was a lot of fun, saturday was shopping with my best friend eric, then having din with him, his partner joe and wendy and jenny who was in town from philly. we drank, we ate, and then we went back to wendy's place and schmoked and had one of the funniest conversations i can recall. we talked all about sex with men vs sex with women and it was both hilarious and informative for everyone involved!

sunday i saw Juno with Queen Jiller, and I have to highly recommend this movie to everyone. stellar cast, great directing, excellent script, and a standout performance by ellen page as the lead. fantastic fantastic movie.

tonight, TA took me to dinner at Annisa, for my birthday, and it was just excellent. not just the food, but the company as well. its been a very rocky road for us, but we are forging a special bond as friends, and i am very happy about that. look, inherently, i'm always going to care about him, and i know that he feels the same. there is a part of me that will probably always be in love with him, and i'm ok with that, because i think that that is normal. if we weren't friends, i would probably be brokenhearted. how can you just void your life of someone who you spent such a significant part of it with? it doesn't seem natural. we'll probably still have our bumpy moments, but in the long run (and i have said this before), we will always be in each others lives. he is a good person and i am grateful that we are where we are. 

he also got me a pair of rayban aviators that i had expressed interest in. not at all necessary, so thank you TA, it was very sweet and generous of you.

i look forward to wearing said glasses tomorrow morning on the train up to CT, where i am going for a meeting for my first day of work! we're meeting with someone regarding the south beach wine and food festival, which i am also going to from feb 17-25. i'm very excited, and i know that this is just going to be a great opportunity for me.

i'm in a happy mood right now, and i am hoping that it sustains itself for a while. i have a feeling that it will.

in the meantime, i hope that everyone checks out this video (audio is NSFW)...hilarious!

28.

today is my 28th birthday. i honestly cannot believe that i am this old. i just can't believe it! i feel like it was just yesterday that was a dorky chubby freshman at wootton. or that i was a dorky chubby freshman at iu. and wasn't it just yesterday that i was the quasi-cool, not-so-chubby kid fresh outta school working at the front desk of the parker? the time goes by oh so fast.

i had a good 27th year. i had a few jobs, i had a boyfriend, i had some normalcy to my life. the spring brought about the upheaval of a lot of that, but i think that i am more grounded now, which i am happy about. 

i don't live a crazy life (although i did hop up to boston for a date on wednesday...maybe i am a tad bit crazy...), but i think that i live quite a satisfying and fulfilling life. sometimes i think that i need to spruce it up a bit, but hey, i have time. i'm young...ish. there is no boyfriend in my life right now (which apparently affects me at certain times), but i'm ok with that. do i need one? i don't know. i miss the companionship that a boyfriend brings, but i have met some great new people who in addition to my old stable of friends keep me afloat and make me enjoy my life and provide me with almost all i need to get by.

i left my shit job, and as of last next week, i will be starting an even better one. i am going to be the events manager for a boutique event planning firm working on huge accounts for them. my biggest client is a HUGE water company, and I will be working with them on their sponsorship of events including the Food Network South Beach Wine & Food Fest, as well as the US Open. I am going to be doing a lot of traveling, which I look forward to, and more importantly, I am going to be working with someone who I have worked before, who I think is a great guy. needless to say, i'm very excited.

28 is shaping up to be a good year.

some boston pics:

birthdays, holidays & memories

my birthday is this coming friday, and i am turning 28. i am looking forward to it, but like always, when this time of year comes, i fall into this deep dark hole. i get upset, i get moody, and i feel alone. i don't know, maybe its because it's different this year, but the holidays are rough for me. i always get emotional around, but it's harder now. the past 2 years i had an amazing man in my life. a companion, a lover, a friend, and now i don't have that. i don't have the person who i told i loved on new years in 2005. i don't have the person who i crawled into bed with every night and was held by. i miss that. as i try to move on and move forward its this time of year that i slow down and regroup and get emotional and upset and remember what i am missing. you try and focus on the positives of what you have in your corner, but i don't have so much right now. no job, no significant other. no one to curl up with and tell me that all the bad stuff will pass. i wish that i could say that its been getting easier, this getting over TA thing, but it's not. especially this time of year.

some of my friends are slowly showing their true colors and once again, i question my friendships with some of them. i feel left out of things and i feel like once again, i'm being put on the back burner by some people. everyone seems to always be having a good time, and telling fun stories, and i am not a part of those stories because i am not called or invited. am i that bad of a person? did i do something to hurt or upset them? i really don't think that i did. i feel like i give so much to some people, and i am warm and welcoming and i get shafted in return. i don't know why i put up with some of this, i really don't.

new years is coming and its time for me to reflect on the people in my life. some are in my life for good, and some do nothing but cause me pain. it's time to end that.

if i were a chipmunk...

summertime fun...

the following is the result of vodka, music and the anticipation of a night on the town in early june:

mom and pop's new toy

Saab 93 Turbo in Parchment Silver.

ain't she a beaute?

redacted.

I have received word via a cease-and-desist alleging that some of the content on this blog was both defamatory and libelous. I do not admit any wrong-doing in this matter, nevertheless, certain passages and links have been edited for the removal of content. 

Enjoy!

a blessing and a curse.

*CONTENT REMOVED*

"My New Toy" or "What a Long Strange Trip It Has Been"

so it finally came! my brand spanking new (and might i add, sexy as hell!) black MacBook. I got it all souped up and upgraded, and I love it.

Since I had it customized, it did not come from Cupertino, but from Shanghai rather. Over the weekend I anxiously awaited its arrival with bated breath and tracked it online like a sonnovabitch. Every 30 minutes I looked on the FedEx site to see where it was. On Friday night, after having a wonderful time at Out 100 (more on that another day when i'm less busy), and after the boys left my apt at 2:00, I actually drunk-dialed FedEx to find out where my computer was! WHO DOES THAT? Ha!

anyway, after traveling from Shanghai to Anchorage to Memphis to Newark, my new toy is at at home with his older brother, my old iBook (which incidentally, I am giving to my older brother...ha!)...it has Leopard OS X, it has Photo Booth, Stacks, Spaces, Time Machine...it's pretty f'in sweet. When I received the box in my office yesterday, I actually hugged it. Yes, I am that guy.




And here is a fun pic of me and Brit Ben and Marla when we iChatted last night...so fun!

19 Straight.

I commit myself to a lot. Work, friends, relationships, keeping up appearances. As of late, I have been working myself to the bone. Today marks my 19^th day of working straight. Yes, 19. not even when I was at LPM did I work this many days in a row. I am soooo f’in tired I can’t even begin to explain. I wake at 8am, groggy and tired. I roll out of my apt and get to work at 9, grabbing my coffee and bagel on the way. My routine is pretty bland. The guy in the coffee cart knows me too well. By the time I’m at the front of the line, he already has my large coffee with skim milk and whole wheat bagel ready in the bag, with 2 packets of equal on the side. I hand him my $2.25 and walk across the street to the office. I put in my 7.5 hours and at 5:00pm sharp, I strut out of here. I go home and veg on the couch for a few hours. Sometimes I send my resume, but honestly, I don't even have enough energy to update this blog. My roomy ACME gets home ‘round 9 or 10 from work (he’s working hard kids!), we chit the chat, and watch Pushing Daisies, 30 Rock, Little Britian or Sarah Silverman or whatever is on that night, and then i crawl into bed at 10:30 to watch some tele, and then I fall asleep. Like I said, my routine is pretty darn bland.

Well tonight is Friday the 9^th. I have been waiting for this day for a looong time now, because I finally get a weekend off! Yay! I have been working straight since October 22^nd, and now I can rest and relax. Tonight is Out 100, and I am superjazzed about that. I am going to go out with my boys, we’re getting all gussied up, we’re going to have an amazing time. Tim Gunn & Tori Spelling are hosting, Chaka Khan and Mya are performing, Jennifer Hudson, Mary-Louise Parker, Bill T. Jones (the amazing choreographer from Spring Awakening) and Thom Browne (among others) are being honored, and I hear that there may be a special appearance by a certain former Eurythmic who’s name rhymes with Fannie Dennox. Woohoo!

On a completely unrelated note, as it has now gotten cold out (last night on the phone I told my parents that I was “Freezing my Chita Rivera’s off!"), I have noticed a sudden spike in Ugg wearing. Now, I hate Uggs (and no, not because they are Australian TA! Ok, maybe that’s why on a minute level). I don’t care how comfortable and warm they are, they look ridiculous. Even more so is when you see a gay guy walking down 8^th Ave in his skinny/girly jeans with the legs tucked into the Uggs. Shoot me. Shoot me now. It’s simply unacceptable gays, don’t you know! Almost as bad is when you see someone in shorts and Uggs. Are you hot? Are you cold? MAKE UP YOUR DAMN MIND!

Ok, now that that’s out of my system, happy Friday everyone? This bitch needs a nap!

the french are crazy.

from ben-ben, our france-based correspondent:

"Where will they stop the marketing? Zac Efron's favorites, the Mickey Mouse shaped burger patties!"

"Why cruise gay websites for hours when you can pick up a box of 6 frozen fagots! Always ready for you, right in your freezer!"

what's old is new again.

*CONTENT REMOVED*

on another (and completely different note), i have a new friend. a friend that i met back in may (when i crashed his 25th bday party), but now we're actually like friends. we spent almost all last weekend together. we drank, we wii'd, we brunched, we shopped, we drank some more. i mean, we clicked. it's so nice when you start up a new friendship. you learn so much about each other and it's really refreshing. he's new to the city, and the country for that matter, and we've both had busy years, both workwise and lovelife-wise. it's nice to share and to commiserate and all that. it's just nice. we say that we are going to be best friends in 2008, but i think that it may come sooner.

what's wrong with this picture?

what's so wrong with the tuna that there must be quotes around it?

spring awakening.

i have been waiting to see spring awakening for a very long time now. zach braff introduced the tony awards performance by saying "the show found it's inspiration in one of literature's most controversial masterpieces. A work daring in it's depiction of teenage self discovery. The show invites audiences of all ages to experience again the wonder of being young" i quote mtv's john norris "The most mind-blowing fact about "Spring Awakening" is that its source material — a non-musical play by German Frank Wedekind — was written in 1891....a play full of teenagers that includes (but is not limited to) wet dreams, masturbation, molestation, fumbling sex, teen pregnancy, ostracism, sadomasochism, abortion and suicide." the cast is made up of 2 adults and 16 amazingly talented actors who are between 17-24, and there is a great little blip from new york mag on them here. they tackle these issues because their parents and teachers won't educate them about life and sex. it's 1891 for christ's sake!

it played off broadway at the atlantic theatre here in my my neighborhood, but i never saw it. i heard the buzz about the show, but i never made it. then it opened on broadway. in a big way. and i wanted to see it. bad.

rt from the karpel group gave me a copy of the soundtrack several months ago, and i haven't stopped listening. the music and lyrics by duncan sheik (yes, that duncan sheik) and steven stater are beautiful and haunting. exciting and poignant. the music ranges from slow moving ballads to cacophonous rock numbers. i know all the words, i know all the subtleties of the orchestration. i was obsessed with this show before i had even seen it.

well, today, jason and his friends and i went to the matinée performance, and i can't express how much i was moved by this show. i knew the story somewhat through the music (which i'm listening too on it's 2nd loop through, as i'm writing this), but being able to see it being performed live in such a raw setting as it is presenting is breathtaking and brilliant. the songs as they are performed are actually the inner monologues of the characters and they really break the 4th wall to sing these. what was one of the most amazing aspects of the show was the lighting, which I realize is a strange thing to say, but once you see it, you will understand. whether it was the subtle spotlight on a picture on the wall, the blue light bulbs arranged in the sky or even the brilliant neon strips located all around the theatre, it all added to an amazing display.

i know it's stupid to write this post all about this one show, but it really moved me. some people say that this is a show for a new generation, and i agree. i laughed, i teared up, it was a cathartic journey that i recommend everyone going through.

back to the realities of life.

it's been an interesting coupla days for me.

my trip was stellar. i did so much in 7 days, that i can say without hesitation that it was the BEST. VACATION. EVER. being able to travel around Europe with your best friend is something I recommend to everyone. Yes, Jill and I fought like mad a few times over random stupid shit, but hey we do that stateside as well. We traveled with her sister and her 3 friends, and we all got along famously. whispers of a possible trip on '08 abound...

highlights:

• a 4.5 hr bike tour around Berlin with a stop 1/2 through at a biergarten, making an even more fun second 1/2!
• seeing the amazing architecture of Daniel Liebeskind's Jewish Museum
  
• a hostel in prague the size of my big toe (what you get for €40 a night!)
• doing shots of absinthe, in one of the only countries where it is actually legal!
• climbing up the steepest 287 steps in a spiral staircase to the top of Prague Castle for an unrivaled view of the city
  
• seeing the crazy Raisin "Dancing" Building by Frank Gehry
• Jill flipping her shizz on a narrow road behind a big rig in the middle of nowheresville Czech Republic
• the lush green pastures of Austria set against the backdrop of the Alps
• visiting Mozart's birthplace in Salzburg
• walking through Dachau concentration camp outside of Munich, both a haunting and fascinating experience
• Oktoberfest. Oktoberfest, Oktoberfest, Oktoberfest.
• a 10-hour train ride through the night up to Berlin, sharing a cabin with the locals
• Amsterdam's amazing canals, red lights and coffeeshops!
• Going the Anne Frank House and seeing the history in front of me
  

Like I said, it was an amazing trip, and there are some pics below...

*CONTENT REMOVED*

I have been trying to reconnect with friends, both old and new, I think it's important to do so.

Chris Saunders has moved back to town, and I couldn't be happier. I've missed him for the past 3 years. ACC in LA and I had our moment in the sun, which has now set. He's a great guy, and I hope that we maintain communication. Hey, he moves to NYC in a year, you never know...TA and I are going to make an attempt at a friendship, and as of now, it's going well. He is very special, and I am hoping that we can make this work. I'm sure that it will take more effort on my end, but I'll work it out, it's worth it to me. I met a nice kid last Friday. He seems smart and fun, and is as big of a Pushing Daisies fan as I am...which by the way is an AMAZING show, and you need to watch it. We're meeting up on Sunday, i'm definitely looking forward to it. And he blogs. Big plus.

Some of my besties and I are attempting to band together to help a friend. he's in a bad place and needs some serious help. we may have drifted apart, but it's time to put the differences aside and help save a friend from himself.

The seasons are slowly changing, we are all moving on. some for the better, some for the worse, but we are all moving. bodies in motion stay in motion.

Some of my 431 pictures from Europe:

All of us at the Berlin Wall

The Holocaust Memorial in Berlin

Absinthe in Prague...the Green Fairy cometh...

All of us at O'Che's in Prague

The stunning Austrian countryside

Fantastic pretzels in Salzburg

Dachau Concentration Camp

Schnitzel and Currywurst in Munich

Me at the Hofbrau Hall at Oktoberfest!!

Gorgeous Amsterdam

When in Amsterdam...

*phew*

i'm back in nyc after my whirlwind vacation. had the simply most amazing time ever. updates and pics to come!

.a

gutentag!

it's around midnight and i'm in munich! don't have long to write, but thus far, this trip has been out of this world! queenjiller and i and the rest of the group are having the best time!

paris: cdg airport is gorgeous!

berlin: awesome bike tours with all 6 of us and our hot tour guide named Ingo, lots of amazing beers, more sausage than i have ever had in my life!

prague: shitty drive over, smallest room in all europe, great architecture, absinthe, singing, more beer, more sausage.

salzburg: late addition to the trip, decided to go just yesterday! city was gorgeous, and the countryside was the most beautiful i've seen..."the hills are alive, with the sound of music!"

munich: just got back from the first part of oktoberfest. pure insanity.

more to see, more to come!

celebrate.

it may not be much to some, but this week marks my 1-year anniversary of not smoking. i have been quite tempted in many many situations, and it is still difficult sometimes, but i won't lie, i'm pretty damn proud of myself. it's so unhealthy to smoke, and i couldn't be happier that i quit. congrats to me!

---

i'm packing right now for my european extravaganza, our flight is in 4 hours. i've had a crazy/fun/horrible/intense couple of days and weeks, and this trip is very much needed for me to clear my mind. i can't wait! hopefully i'll be able to write from abroad, we'll see!

all good things...

Being with someone who makes you feel like you are walking on clouds is something that is hard to come by, and if you are lucky, you will stay airborne for a while.

ACC is going back to LA today, and it sucks, but I’m ok with it. I was able to spend one last night with him and it made me realize many things. First off, he’s a truly amazing person. There is so much to him, so much depth and passion and so much I admire. Second, it showed me what is out there in this big world, people who will make an impact on your life and your soul. Yes, it sounds ridiculous, as we have known each other for only a brief period of time, but there is a clear connection between us.

This short and sweet late-summer affair (which, as he puts is, “is just this close to being a French film with subtitles”) has ended, at least for now. Yes, it would be wonderful to spend more time together, but the reality is that he lives in LA and I live in NYC, and although he will be moving here in a year, this is where the amazing journey ends. the season is changing, and it's time for me to move on, something I have been trying to do for a while now... This was such a wonderful experience, and I thank you ACC for that. You really gave me something to remember, and as I told you, I hope that our paths cross again very soon...

I wear my heart on my sleeve, and everyone knows it. If I feel something, I say something (or write about it). I read my post from the other day, and I think that it was sappy, but you know what, it’s how I felt about things. in our short lifetimes, we only have a few opportunities to go with your heart, and I did just that, as fearlessly as possibly...no regrets...

everything weird and wonderful....pt.2

you can't anticipate situations and you can't expect something to happen. you can't predict the weather and you can't depend on the subways. you also can't foresee the feelings you are going to have for a person.

someone very wise recently told me that dating is the loneliest process in the world. it's painful, its emotional and it's taxing. that is until you meet someone who puts you in an inexplainable mood. you forget about the problems at work, and they help you shut out the daily frustrations of your life. someone who you instantly connect with, who brings you to a level you have yet to reach in your life.

i met someone. someone amazing. I was able to spend 2 fantastic days on the west coast with him, and the most perfect night with him in nyc. when he drives you to a special place you really wanted to see, when you feel comfortable enough to hold his hand while walking down the street, when you go up to top of the rock and gaze out at the glittering city and then look into his eyes and catch a hidden glance, you don't hesitate. he literally took my breath away.

and he lives in LA.

how can you feel such a connection to someone who you have only known for such a short period of time and who you know is going to hop back on a plane in a few days? it seems nearly impossible to suppress feelings that you never thought that you were able to have.

i do not know what will happen now. things happen for a reason, and although this was not a situation that either of us anticipated, i couldn't be happier that i was able to experience this. i'm walking on clouds.

I just want you close
Where you can stay forever

You can be sure
That it will only get better
You and me together
Through the days and nights
I don't worry 'cause
Everything's gonna be alright

People keep talking
They can say what they like
But all I know is
Everything's gonna be alright

No one, no one, no one
Can get in the way of what I'm feeling
No one, no one, no one
Can get in the way of what I feel for you

You, you
Can get in the way of what I feel for you
When the rain is pouring down
And my heart is hurting
You will always be around
Yes, I know, for certain

You and me together
Through the days and nights
I don't worry 'cause
Everything's gonna be alright

People keep talking
They can say what they like
But all I know is
Everything's gonna be alright

No one, no one, no one
Can get in the way of what I'm feeling
No one, no one, no one
Can get in the way of what I feel for you

You, you
Can get in the way of what I feel
I know, some people search the world
to find something like what we have
I know, people will try, try to divide
something so real
so 'till the end of time
I'm telling you that

No one, no one
Can get in the way of what I'm feeling
No one, no one, no one
Can get in the way of what I feel for you

----------------
Now playing: Alicia Keys - No One

everything weird and wonderful.

thank you ACC, for helping me make some new memories in LA. i will cherish them...

2 weeks o' stuff

phew. sorry to my loyal readers (all 3 of you...well, 2 if you don't count me...) for the delay in posting. it's been 2 weeks, its a mighty long time by my standards, and the last 2 weeks have been kinda crazy, very fun, very fast and very tiresome.

a breakdown:

-dave cain was in town: had a great time with him and chrisbugg. that's right, i've condensed his name, since it really just flows better that way. dave breezed in from his job in miami. had an f'in blast with the 2 of them. we drank, we trekked alll the way up to the ralph lauren store on the UES after drinking a few bottles of champers. then we went out, left chrisbugg with some tatted up guy at barracuda and and well...i won't get into the dirty deets, but it was the kind of night/morning that only would have happened to dave and i. we've been friends for 8 years, and we have many many memories under our belts...and in our pants. ha!

-9 gays (and kimmy!) singing and dancing at maracas during one of the most fun brunches EVER. that's what you get for unlimted margaritas on a sunday morning! the restaurant was filled with tons of gays and we sang La Bamba for hours. hilarious.

-drinks and dessert with a Tony nominee (you know who you are)...

-house/dog sat for marc and wolly: ok, no dogs there, but house sitting and a fun labor day bbq with the boys. drinks on the sprawling terrace and playing on their wii. wii had a wii-lly good time.

-and now i'm in boston. 

*CONTENT EDITED*

being here in boston has been weird. i get to travel extensively for work, having all ready been in chicago and dallas, and going to los angeles in 5 days. here in boston i'm at the former stomping grounds for my 11 or 12 friends who went to BU and TA who went to Harvard, and of course it is he who I think of most. it's now been 5 months since we've broken up. it's crazy, and i def still miss him a lot. i'm glad i got to see him last month, and it's still hard, but i care for him, and i will always care about him. as i have said before, i am looking forward to having him in my life as a close friend. (9/9 UPDATE: I ran into TA last night at Eastern Bloc, he was with some friend of a friend, and it was weird that he introduced me and said 'we dated for a little while'. was good to see him, explained that i would love to see him again, but, as I have told everyone it's going to have to be in October, when things calm down a bit. we'll see what transpires...)

on to LA on thursday, where i was last with TA. knowing me, it's going to be hard to do this event, especially it's on the site of one of the places that he and I went, the la brea tar pits, and all the memories will come back. i need to make new memories, so this will be an opportunity to do so. onwards and upwards.

i'm getting uber-excited for my trip at the end of the month to europe with jill, i really can't wait. i'll post more about that soon. in the mean time, here are some pics from the past this past weekend...enjoy!

a shot of Boston from my hotel room

another shot of Boston from my hotel

the unbelievably sexy LL Cool J who was the at conference leading morning aerobics (ha!) and promoting his book. i was that close. his arms are as big as my head. amazing.

the cute penguins at the sea world/orlando booth

The Last 5 Years.

Well, today is a milestone for lil old me. Today, August 24, 2007, marks my 5 year anniversary of living on this little island known as New York City. I know it’s not that long of a time period, but to me, it says something about me and my commitment to this city and being here.

When I was in college , I thought that I wanted to move to Chicago. I thought that NYC was just too much for me, that it was too big and that it was too fast-paced, but that Chicago was a good median. Then, I came here for a Madonna concert when I was a senior (how gay, right?), and immediately I had a newfound love for this city. I knew that this was the place that I was going to move to. This is where my life was going to take me.

I would come up here for a few days at a time, and stayed with Eric & Wendy on their couch in Murray Hill while I was looking for a job. I would be up here for 4 days, home for a week, up here for 3, home for 4, and so on. I moved into Will & Todd's apt on August 24 and started work at the Parker Meridien on the 26th and then started the apartment search. 5 years later, here I am.

It’s be a whirlwind 5 years. I have done so much with my life, met so many incredible people, and I really think that I’ve lived to the fullest, or at least I've strived to do so.

Let’s take a look back, shall we:

Jobs in Chronological Order:
(and I'm sure I'm missing one or two!)
Le Parker Meridien
Soy Luck Club
SparkPlug Communications
Barking Dog
Soho House
(for 2 hours, then I quit!)
Cafeteria
Urban Outings
Onorato/Wixom (OW!)
Junket Productions
Café Mozart
Play Underwear
Creed Fragrances
Strohl & Company
Comix
Shecky's
MKG Productions
JM Visuals
*EDITED FOR CONTENT*

Apartments:
Cornelia Street (Will & Todd’s couch) – 2 weeks
44th and 10th – 2 weeks
63rd between 1st and 2nd – 14 months
36th and 2nd – 1 year
24th and 8th – 2.5 years

Friend’s who have left NYC since I have been here:
Will Acton
Justin Klinger
Chris Saunders
(has ANYONE spoken to him?? Please let me know! Trying to track him down!)
Matt Schaefer
Jenny Slobotkin (neé Sobie)
Tom Suiter

It’s been a crazy ride getting to where I am now. I’m not saying "Yay! I’ve made it!", because I don’t know if that is necessarily the case, but I do feel like I have come far from where I was when I first moved here. I have a more self confidence, more friends, more memories. I have had some really amazing experience and some real hardships. I have grown and I am much more understanding of the person that I have become.

It seems silly to adhere to the old adage that you aren’t a real New Yorker until you’ve lived in the city for 10 years, regardless of where you are originally from, but there are days that I will walk down the streets and people watch and listen to the cacophony of city sounds and I think to myself: this is my home.

past the awkward, into the unknown...

i heard a really good quote yesterday, that just seems to be very appropriate for me: "Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened."...Dr. Seuss

It’s been a mad mad couple of days for me. Where to begin...

Lets start with Thursday: I went to PopRocks with my boys. Dancing, drinking, open bar, good times. Well who should walk on in? the one person who I have been both waiting to see and avoiding all at the same time: TA. This was the moment that I feared, when I saw him at a bar. What made it worse was that I was dressed mighty shabbily, and of course he looked great. he was there with the guy who we had both gone on a date with a few months ago, which answered my question as to whether they were still hanging out, and made me feel better about telling him that I can’t be friends with him, even though I really enjoyed his company...

So I ran. Quickly said my goodbyes to all my friends and ran downstairs from the roof. I stopped and called jill. I needed some advice. Do I leave, do I say hi? Well, I decided that this was my golden moment. If I didn’t go say hello, then I would regret it. So I used my liquid courage (did I mention the open bar?) and said hi. We chatted for a little bit, then decided to take a walk. We walked, sat on a stoop, and I laid it on the line. I said everything that I had to say. I cried a bit (again, did I mention the open bar?), I probably made a fool of myself, but I don’t regret it for one minute. I needed to get out what I said. He, being him, walked me all the way home from the bar. It was uncomfortable but it was good. I said I would contact him sometime in the future.

Friday I basically had a minor nervous breakdown while in Long Island for work (by myself), while I was processing my encounter with TA, although I'm better now.

Saturday morning, I’m on the phone will jill chatting about our European extravaganza (we’re going to Amsterdam now too!! Woohoo!), and I get a text from TA asking if I want to catch up. Why did he text me?! I was planning on waiting a while to speak with him again, but he texted me! I guess it was a sign that he didn't want to avoid me, and that made me feel better about it all...

After some deep thought and counseling from Jill and Lil’ Steve (and going against their suggestions), we met up for coffee and took a walk through the village and to the river. It was actually really nice. We shopped a bit and then grabbed some lunch at Murray's and shopped some more. Yes, there were awkward moments, but I am very glad that I saw him. We chatted about dating other people, moving on in life, and making new memories, something i've been striving to do. He has new friends and a new car, but he's still the same old TA.

I was concerned that the lingering feelings that I had for him would rebound me back to la-la land, and I would be hurting more because seeing him would remind me that I can’t be with him. As much as those feelings are indeed still there to some extent (and may never go way), I don’t think that us hanging out was a bad idea. Being with him just reminded me of who he is, and why I care about him. I will contact him sometime down the line because we both would like to be in each other’s lives, but right now I think that I need a little more time to process it all, ya know? I don't know when that will be, but hopefully soon.

Thank you again TA, you are a very special person, and I am looking forward to the day that we can be good friends.

Saturday night was the Night of a Thousand Parties, as I had 3 to go to, and they were all equally fun! Last night Jill and I went to pianos to go see my friend matt perform. I have never been able to see him with a live band backing him and playing his own music, and it was awesome. Matt is so unbelievably talented, and I feel honored to know him. Here are some fun pics!

a bbq, a brit and a brennen...not necessarily in that order

simply put, another fun ny weekend.

Friday night, I stayed in. after a long week at work, recovery from the previous weekend, and a general sense of blah, I decided to relegate myself to the couch. Tele, tele, tele. 'twas a good time.

Saturday I had a really fun day with brit ben who i hadn't seen since his bday in may. Brunch at 44 ½ , then down to vitra and design within reach, in the meatpacking. After that and some wandering, it was off to revel for some mid-day mojitos. Afterwards, I met up with brennen and we did some shopping. And by we, I mean he. I didn’t buy anything. Brennen however mistakenly bought a pair of c-in2 sling briefs and nearly ripped his nuts off in the process.

Saturday night was vlada, then a black/white party (not in a hairspray racial-integration kinda of way, in a ‘please wear black or white’ kind of way) then the ritz, all with brit ben. A fun night that included kissing 38 people during a game of spin the bottle,burgers at 2am, and waiting in nervous anticipation for a mouse to shit in a box...seriously, don’t ask...

Sunday was brunch and shopping with ms. madelaine mayer, which is always a blast, and then trekked up with brennen and the aim to 152nd Street and Murder Avenue to ben-ben and brendan’s bbq. I swear, when ben-ben and I lived together, the boy never cooked anything other than chicken breasts and white rice. Now he’s a gourmand, making pasta salads, burgers, HOMEMADE sorbets and ice creams! It’s crazy! It was delish boys, thanks for having me!

i'm getting incredibly excited about my upcoming european extravaganza that i have planned with jiller. gots me some awesome guide books, and i'm just superjazzed about it all.

I leave you all with this GORGEOUS picture of me red-faced and sweating my balls off, and wondering why in the world I trekked all the way uptown…oh yeah, free food and drinks...gets me every time!

good news, good times.

Well, it looks like things are looking up for old Gil!

*CONTENT EDITED*

Last weekend was excellent. Was out at eric & joes on fire island (thanks again boys!). Weather couldn’t have been any nicer. Had some great Eric and Me time, got myself some great color, hung out with a bunch of friends, went skinny dipping with all the boys (this would be the 2nd year in a row for that, thank you very much!), drank, relaxed, cleared my mind . ‘twas perfect. Here are some pics to enjoy...

their gorgeous house!


the pool where i swam and tanned every day, sometimes clothed...hehe...


see, i tolds you were were nekkid...



drunk on the roof...good times...


attempting to shed some light on the boardwalk to their place at night...


me and my lil...


sip & twirl fun...


a nice dramatic shot of my feet on the beach at night...